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Saturday, Dec. 13, 2003/6:20 AM

Duk's Arse

Dangerous Ducks

We didn't quite catch it. We were on the subway looking over the shoulder of a man with a long pointy umbrella and something of a swarthy look about him. The headline was as clear as it was startling. "Dangerous Ducks" it said. Along side this gross generalization was a picture of a duck, not Duk but a fellow latex fowl. It seems that some Korean manufactured brethren have been putting the lives of young innocent American children at risk.

Immediately William assumed that it was one of the Stunt Duks. They have developed something of a temper, perhaps because they are all stuffed into a very small box in the bathroom.

“Serves them fucking right” said Duk, a little loudly given the very close proximity of our fellow New Yorkers who, despite being renowned for being rude and heartless, were unlikely to be supportive of Duk’s elation at the prospect of infanticide. “There’s so many of the little buggers getting under your feet at this time of year we could do with a culling. They should give that fucking duck a medal”. “Pity there aren’t gaggles of marauding ducks out there getting rid of a few of the tourists , people in Father Christmas hats and those bastard taxi drivers who drive around with their “off-fucking-duty” lights on”.

Duk's back/ Duk's forward