Thursday, Jul. 10, 2003/5:47 PM

Duk's Arse

Duk finds cock on his holidays

"They have cocks in Mallorca?" said william, raising his head from page 872 of 'harry potter and the order of fries with that?"

"Yes, I found a very big and hansome one. It caught me totally by surprise on a romote hill side, up against a wall"

"You were up against a wall?"

"No. The cock was against the wall, I just stood there in admiration" said Duk.

Celebrity table Like buses and taxis, there are never any celebrities around when you want them and then when you least expect it, there they are in swarms. The place, La Residencia in Deia Mallorca, was packed with the little buggers. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (obviously escaping the little noisy one) Goldie Whore and someone who was probably not her son, Richard "virgin" Branson (alone for obvious reasons). Thanks to a little Mallardian string pulling these minor annoyances were put in their place by the Bird with exceptional influence. Mike, Verra, Evie, William and Robin were all rather impressed as they were led to the best table that was was well and truely RESERVADO for Duk. I know Catherine was impressed.

"Why aren't you writing" Duk wanted immediate entries of the web site to ensure that the holiday snaps were up before the bears got back. "I'm too sick to do the diary" replied William "I got tonsilitis from somewhere"

"From someone, more like" muttered Duk Fuck it, I'm just doing pics:

What we did all day, every day

The one sight seeing trip.

And new friends