Wednesday, Nov. 27, 2002/10:50 AM

Duk's Arse

Last }:> day

Now that Duk and the }:> are letting bygones be bygones we can all get back to normal.

The truth is out and Holly is not the only liar.

Anyway, back to the holiday pictures.

Unlike }:> that 'spray' their affections around willy nilly, Duk's love is hard to come by. If there is one thing he loves more than he used to love the }:> it is Mr And Mrs Oaf and the mighty fine fare they cook up.

(Duk realizes that this is three things, before some smart arsed, smug bastard, evil, vindictive, spiteful, crazy, jealousy ridden, ner ner ner nernerner }:> points out the fucking obvious).

Anyway, Mrs Oaf and Michael do good Barbie (and we are not talking Operastar here).

Fashionista's know:

Tom Ford is a Fraud.

Donatella is 'so last year'.

Prada, made in china?!!

Louis Vuitton kills kittens.

Calvin Klein, well need we say more. Duk's been in that limo (outside Stella's on 47th street) on more than one occasion.

Fear not. We have found the next couturier. It came as quite a surprise to discover creative genius in a small, nondescript town on the central coast of Australia.

If white is the new black, Jodi is the new Stella and Umina will be the next Cannes.

We've asked the reclusive JODI to set up a web site so the international glitterati can purchase these works of genius without travelling all the way to Australia.

Next year's little black number will come from Jodi of Umina. We guarantee it. You heard about her here first.

What do you get if you cross a }:> with a Duk?

"A Dear" said William thinking that Duk and Bear made "Deer".

"Shut up, stupid cunt" said Duk dismissively. William returned to his knitting.